Lessons From Our Elders

Our first week in action after a two-week holiday break, and the kids were thrilled to be back. I had some mixed feelings about the day until one of our older kids announced that it was time for an elder meeting, as I was led, with our other elders, to our secret gathering spot in the woods. After a long journey traveling a short distance with much discussion about who goes first, a few insects to observe along the way, we had arrived. The meeting couldn’t start until some clean up and arranging were done, which also took much discussion, but we were finally ready. We sat in our circle of rocks and wood stumps as our meeting began. I was not leading at all, just participating, as this group of elders began discussing how the younger kids were doing and the challenges of supporting them in being their best selves. There wasn’t much I needed to add - just some wholehearted agreement to the points being mentioned.

Community health in action! This potential is always there but needs a bit of support and guidance to get going. It’s not about me lecturing and trying to teach the values of community health, but more about creating the conditions and space for the kids to learn this potential within themselves, with many opportunities to practice. Once it gets going, there’s not much else to do but get out of the way and join in the flow. My mixed feelings to start the day long gone as the inspiration of our gathering set the tone for the rest of the day.

We’ve had a cultural momentum in place for many years around here. These elders are just mimicking how they were treated by the elders from last year. They came in on the first day of school ready for their new roles. I didn’t need to say anything. Each one walking tall, announcing to us all that they are elders now. They immediately got to work welcoming the new kids and helping them settle into their new school. I was just following their lead. The act of me following, instead of trying to lead, instantly contributing more momentum and empowerment.

This is what being an educator is all about for me: creating the space and conditions for the kids to find these innate tendencies within themselves and start practicing being real, heart-centered humans within community. We are all participating together in this learning, as each year a new group evolves before us. The kids know I value their input, as they can tangibly feel that their unique way of being is seen and valued. The curriculum sets itself with the lessons emerging from our evolving group, not from me.

What if this was emphasized as much as the 3 R’s as vitally important in how we educate and guide our children. What if kids always have these circles as they grow into adults? Instead of individualized competition with separate desks in a row, we always sat in a circle. We started each day checking in on our community’s health with a wise teacher and elders modeling these crucial values. The importance of grades taking a back seat to how we are showing up within community. More acknowledgement from the teacher for including the new shy child in your game than getting a good grade on your math test. College acceptance based more on character and citizenship than grades and performance on tests. It’s easy to imagine healthier communities growing out of such a model with more sensitivity to bigger issues of equity and social justice.

I also can’t help but see some parallels in how we approach acute mental health challenges. I could have used a similar model during my first event, instead of everyone freaking out and trying to quickly pacify my experience. Someone who had an understanding that there was some innate wisdom and guidance coming through my experiences. What I needed was someone to help start the momentum of me learning to be my own healer. An elder within needed to be recognized and empowered. Also, a circle of peers I felt safe and supported within, as opposed to the usual isolation that follows, as I found myself alone and being told I was helpless to a disease. Instantly severed from the guidance within and the real potential of me learning to be my own healer. It’s easy to imagine a different outcome for myself within such a framework, as well.

I know, I’m just a naive preschool teacher. Mad, as well! It's a dog eat dog world out there. More the reason we should be dreaming of other possibilities and not lowering ourselves to just preparing our children for the cold, competitive world. The human reset is right here and I can’t help but have some hope for the future with this exposure. Sure, things are probably going to get worse before they’ll get better. But while we’re waiting, I’ll be imagining and modeling other possibilities. My own emerging elder leading the way!

Much Love!

The Mad Preschool Teacher